The worst lies are the ones you tell yourself

hye bitches.



hows your raya?
mine, sucks.

a topsy turvy week ends with a nice surprise from God to me.
at first , i blame Him.
why now?
why wont you delay it a bit?
I need no pressure.

but.
I come to think again.
this may be my wake up call.


I saw him just now, with her.
I amazed by my insticnt on how fishy he sounds.
I amazed on how God create the moment of golden for that to happen.
I knew this day would come, someday.
i even used to practise it before, what to do, what to say
what to act or what to play.

but when it really REALLY happen,
i went cold and numb.
even now, i barely taste anything, feel anything.

pernah rasa tak macam hati rasa ngilu
sangat dan terlalu sampaikan nak bernafas pun
rasa tak mampu?
Yes. macam tu aku rasa sekarang.

mungkin dunia terlalu kejam untuk aku
mungkin dunia terlalu bosan melihat aku
terlalu lama hanyut
mungkin ini masanya untukaku tersentak dan mula bangun
dari ruang yang sama
--- 3 tahun lepas.


tarikh ini,
genap tarikh ini.
10/8/2010